Curried Away

Now that Dave and Ben are expert rickshaw drivers (read about their acclimatisation day in the post below) - we have a highly increased chance of survival on India’s roads.

We’ve also received some top-tips on road domination, from Chris’s uncle, who is a former rally driver and has good experience of India’s roads and their unwritten rules…

He emailed the team with the following:

Hi, guys,
I am Chris’s uncle, and have spent much of the last 12 years going back and forth to India.

Here are some essential gleanings, that you will need to know, in order to save your lives. Without them, you could be seriously at risk!! (I am not joking!)

India may have written traffic rules. But no one knows them. You get your licence in India by paying someone some money.

Here are the real, unwritten rules, that everyone instinctively uses. When I first met Indian traffic, it seemed like chaos, but once I’d sussed this, it all fell into place. The first three are vitally important. You MUST obey these or you are sure to have a bad time.

1)  THE GOLDEN RULE:  Forget it at your peril!  BIG RULES.  The bigger you are, the more right of way you have. Right of way has NOTHING to do with lines on roads, lights, junctions, main or minor roads, or even which side of the road you’re on. It is all about who is the biggest vehicle. Therefore in your rickshaw, you give way to ALL buses, trucks, 4WDs, cars, and vans. Two wheelers, bicycles, oxcarts and pedestrians give way to you. Simple isn’t it? But don’t forget it when you’re barrelling (in a rickshaw?) down the main road, and a truck comes up a side road to a junction. Give way or die! Buses are the kings of the road, and often come at you two (I have seen three) abreast. Practice driving your rickshaw into the ditch at full speed. You will need to. YOU may pass even if there is something coming, as long as you are bigger than them. Mostly in your rickshaw, you aren’t! Of course the buses know that there is NOTHING bigger than them, so they can and do pass wherever they want.

2)  SPEED RULES - especially on the open road, the faster you are going, the more right of way you have. This is simple and obvious, because everyone knows your brakes (and probably your steering) are useless. Also, the driver is probably drunk or exhausted, and is driving fast to keep himself awake. Give any bus or truck travelling at speed a very, very wide berth! A similar rule applies on hills - anything going downhill has right of way over anything of a similar size going uphill, for the same reasons.

3)  NOISE RULES - the more noise you make, the more right of way you have. If you haven’t already, get yourselves a set of air claxons. The pretty but useless rubber squeezy horn or standard fit beeper won’t do you any favours. No one will move! It is standard practice to use your horn at all times. Because of this, it is unsafe not to! Pedestrians, cows, goats, and even chickens are so trained to it, that they won’t move without hearing a horn. But a claxon horn blaring away for 1 km before you get to them will give you a clear road (believe me, it works!!). Yes, you will get very sick of it, but when you get home, you’ll wonder how anyone manages without. Passing MUST be done with lots of horn, as the other guy (who has mirrors?) doesn’t even know you’re there.

4)  GO WITH THE FLOW  In traffic, do what everyone else is doing. Forget what seems obvious, safe, or right. Just go with the flow. Anything else is dangerous!

5)  PICK YOUR NOSE  At junctions, lights or roundabouts (not many), in heavy traffic, the guy who has his nose in front has the right of way. Watch the professional  auto drivers, who are past-masters at inching through traffic. Keep an eye out for police controlling junctions, especially at rush hour. They are hard to see and it’s bad form to ignore them.

6)  Last, but not least, NO SEE CHICKEN. This is a game played at almost every junction. It goes like this. If you pretend that you haven’t seen the other guy, you have the right of way - obviously! He will see that you haven’t seen him, and give way. Except of course that he is playing by the same rules…

We’ll be praying for you…

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